The holidays have proven to be very trying on the heart. Family get-togethers, while beautiful and heartwarming, have also become a hearbreaking picture of the reality we never imagined. It's painful to experience the joy of being together, while also feeling a true emptiness and longing for our sweet baby boy to be sharing it all with us.
It's so hard to believe that Caleb has already spent his first Thanksgiving, and soon will spend his first Christmas, in Heaven. Even though he is no longer with us, we know that he will forever be a part of our lives. And before he was born, we shared some very special celebrations that were especially for him that I never want to forget - our gender reveal party, when we all found out that we were expecting our third precious boy; and my little pumpkin's baby shower. These now hold extra special meaning, as they will always be some of the few precious memories we have of our angel baby.
Our Gender Reveal Party...
I thought it would be so much fun to have a Gender Reveal Party to find out the sex of baby #3. I wanted it to be a surprise to everyone...Sam and I included! So at my 20-week appointment, we told our sonographer we wanted to know...but didn't want to know the sex of the baby. I asked her to write down the result on a piece of paper, and seal it in an envelope -- just to be safe, she double-enveloped and triple-sealed it! Then we delivered it to our dear friend, who was going to make our reveal cake for us (so other than our sonographer, she was the only person who knew what we were having before we did)! She colored the cake batter so that when we cut into the cake, it would reveal either pink or blue! We asked all of our party guests to cast their vote by wearint pink or blue. It was so much fun!
Sam comes from an all-boy family, so he was "Team Blue" all the way. I was "Team Pink," but snuck some blue in there, too!
Lijah was on "Team Blue" and was sure that a baby brother would be "in the cake"
Jaden was on "Team Pink," hoping for a little sister.
Sam and the other "outlaws" - my sister-in-law and brother-in-law
Anxiously awaiting the big reveal...
Isn't our cake adorable!
When I looked back at our pictures, I was so bummed to see that we didn't get a picture of the inside of the cake... obviously it was BLUE!
My Little Pumpkin's Baby Shower...
Some of my wonderful girlfriends, along with my mom, threw a baby shower for me and my sweet Caleb. The theme was pumpkins, perfect for my little October baby!
I never imagined I would love seeing pictures of me with my baby bump, but looking at these pictures now brings tears to my eyes because my precious baby boy was still with me, his little heart beating strong right under mine.
My precious baby pumpkin cake, perfect for my little October baby!
The details were so adorable! The glass jars were hand painted by my brother! And on this tree were colorful leaves with wishes to baby Caleb, written by each guest at the shower. The tree is still in Caleb's room, where I sit and read them often. And the book, Squirrel's Fall Search, is also signed to him by each guest.
The table centerpieces, each with a little quote about baby boys.
The food table, filled with beautiful brunch dishes, all made with love.
Wonderful family and friends
All of my gifts were hung on a clothesline so that everyone could see them all. Such a fun idea!
My wonderful friend, Jennifer, and I. She has two little girls, just about the same ages as Jaden and Elijah; and is expecting her third girl and I was expecting our third boy!
Some of my very best friends, and shower hosts, Lisa, Denise, and Melissa. Love these girls so much.